Beep beep. Boop.

2015. Lets make a change. As a broke college student struggling to pay for her tuition, I still want to make a difference.Its cold in New York during the winter and working by Herald Square, there are so many people that need help. From keeping themselves warm, to just grabbing a bite, I want to make a difference. I still vividly remember this poor guy on the corner of West 30th Street and 7th Avenue. You looked so delighted reading the instructions off the emergency pack of water you were holding. I wish I had stopped and offered you my granola bar (the only food I had with me at that time) but I didn’t. I still regret it. Random acts of kindness; here it goes.

September

Allowing someone to throw your emotions around because having them throwing it around is better than not having them at all. Allowing someone to make you feel special and yet allowing the same someone to make you feel pushed aside. Why can’t we open up a little and let our vulnerability take us over a little bit? In this age and time, all we care about are how others see us; how we look; how society wants us to feel. Question is, why do we care so much about others and not care about our real emotions? Imagine: a world where emotions are let free from our minds. Happiness is not a state, yet it is life. Bright and sunny, grassy plains with colorful flowers. A speckle, a glimpse, a spark; music that calms your soul. Peace. Serenity.

 

 

-Fall Begins. And the truth is, it’s never going to happen.

Negative things.

Sometimes people say to just throw out all the negative things in life. Easier said than done. Negative things would be easier to discard if only it was a thing. Oh those shoes hurt? Toss them away. Have a friend that just annoys you on your facebook feed? Unfriend them. Sometimes the negatives thing happen to be the closest thing you have and they can’t be trashed. Im at an age where im suppose to be exploring the world and seeing where I should take thr next part of me to. Unfortunately, thats not happening and negative things that are now unbearable is ceasing up my veins. My solution? No solution

Almost 6 years ago, I started living life by the quote “life at best is bittersweet.” And every time something I would consider negative, or bitter happens; theres always gonna be something coming thats going to be sweet as hell. And by then, all these negative things are going to be non-existent.  Nothing and no one can mold your thoughts if you mold it yourself and secure it’s shape with your own trust.

These are the little things in life that we all manage to come between and it’s okay. It happens. And it’ll be a stepping stone towards the next sweet memory.

Crushing.

If it never started, how do you make it end? Crushing takes place when someones activities and notions are interesting to you. You seek to find more about them, whether it is stalking on social media sites or hanging out with their friends to try to find something out. For example, you post up a picture or a status on Facebook and hope they give it a simple like. And when they don’t, that feeling inside (even though its not life threatening) kills you. Your heart sinks. You see this person active on messenger but yet, no like.  You felt like you haven’t impressed them enough, not enough for a thumbs up. And then of course there’s all these scenarios coming up from inside your brain trying to relieve this mental stress.

What I’m trying to say is, this feeling is inevitable. This is part of a process called crushing. Its normal and it happens to everyone. Who knows, maybe at this very moment someone is crushing on you. 🙂

Motivation.

So I have a friend that recently seperated with her boyfriend. Shes devastated. I understand, of course she would be after..I think it was like 4 years together?  Now, my friend and I have been talking here and there (just to make sure she’s not doing anything stupid) and I hear her complain about her weight. Yes, not many people in this world I would say are satisfied with their weight. But what can you do about it? Change it. Because if you don’t, no one is going to do it for you. Thing is, if you don’t care for yourself,  why should someone else care?
Start off small, try going to the gym with a gym buddy. Going with someone definitely keeps the motivation going. If gymming is not for you, try yoga. Yoga is a great way to release stress and to meditate.  Something out there is for you. You just haven’t found it yet. And always remember in order to love someone, you have to learn to love yourself first.